and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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