How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
is that a dick in a sweater?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
