i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
