That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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