she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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