There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize