that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
