if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize