If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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