they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
