We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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