Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
