I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
soo... how was my night?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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