her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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