that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
