I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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