I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
