i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
