I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
