this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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