I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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