Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
