you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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