my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
