Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Randomize
