She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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