Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Too much gin, very little bucket
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
