Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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