Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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