Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So many bounce houses so little time
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
