Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
