DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
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