they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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