toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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