question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
