I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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