i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
