You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I need to calm my uterus...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
