Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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