Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
