everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
