the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.