Are you dead
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Dick very happy bro