Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Can't talk, ducks in the car