I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
New York to be Host to Americaâ€™s Biggest Singles Event
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Kylie Jenner Wasnâ€™t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over