Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
