I have demons in me.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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