i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
