i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
