sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
