Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
