Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
