Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize