Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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