i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
