Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
