Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I just found puke in my bra..
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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