my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
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I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
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I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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