the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
