We won't sleep together?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
my poor anus
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
