So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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