come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
