worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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