I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
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I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
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No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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