I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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