Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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